Anal Sex
What is your first reaction when you hear the phrase "anal
sex"? Are you repulsed, afraid, curious, or interested? If
any of these apply, read on. Anal sex is one of the most taboo sexual
behaviors that a couple can engage in (for purposes of this article
I am referring to a heterosexual encounter). Our mothers told us
not to touch or play with our bottoms when we were children. We
were not allowed to publicly say that we had to defecate, we said
that we had to use the washroom. Anything anal related was bad and
therefore, embarrassing. By the time we were in elementary school,
we were ashamed that we did anything in the bathroom other than
pee, while our little male counterparts were delighted in grossing
us out with their toilet humor.
Little changed as we moved into adulthood. While many of our husbands
or boyfriends may revel in loud farts, most of us deny that we even
do such things. This said, it is no surprise when your partner suggests
that he may be interested in trying out anal sex that you say that
there is no way in hell you are going to let him put his penis in
your butt. For a lot of women, that chapter in their book of sexual
behavior is closed.
Your bottom need not be a scary place. Anal sex doesn't necessarily
mean penetration, and it should most definitely not mean pain. You
or your partner may respond positively to your anus being touched,
rubbed or have pressure applied to during regular vaginal intercourse,
many people enjoy a fingertip inserted into their anus. In fact,
there are a large number of couples that include this practice in
their lovemaking. The reason that this is so common is that your
anus is actually very sensitive, it has more nerve endings than
anywhere except your clitoris, and many women, and men for that
matter, are able to achieve orgasm from anal sex.
If you have successfully incorporated touching each other's bottoms
and anus' into your sexual repertoire, you may realize that it isn't
so bad and may or may not be willing to graduate to the next level.
For most people, this means gradually, and I mean gradually,
getting used to the idea of having an object inserted into your
rectum. A good object to start off with is a finger. Before you
start, make sure that your partner has clipped their fingernails
short and that there are no sharp edges on it. Use lubrication!
(KY jelly, or some other non-petroleum product is good). The anus
is a muscular ring that opens and shuts to let things go out or
come in. If you are tense, you will be shut tight and absolutely
nothing will go in there; therefore relaxation is the key. If things
go okay with this, and you get used to the feeling, you can try
using something a little bigger, like two fingers or even a slim
dildo. If you are comfortable with this, then the penis shouldn't
be a problem. If you and your partner are using enough lubrication
and patience, then it shouldn't hurt. If it hurts, stop - you are
doing something incorrectly.
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