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[1, 2, 3]
The Importance of Self Esteem in Obtaining and Maintaining Relationships
Chapter 2
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Unfounded feelings of jealousy often figure large in a relationship's
demise. If you are perpetually concerned with your partner's
whereabouts and social associations, again, perhaps it is time
to do some introspection. Often this emotion is rooted within
an individual's own insecurities or indeed based on past personal
behaviors. Chances are, if you have cheated in the past, you
are certainly more apt to believe your partner may be engaging
in the same activity - and if you feel they are too good for
you, you will ask yourself why wouldn't they seize an opportunity?
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A certain degree of shyness when first naked with a new partner
is perfectly natural - after all, none of us is perfect, and
we all wonder how we might measure up… with their last
partner for example. Should this feeling unduly persist however,
you will discover it negatively impacting your sex life and
therefore your relationship at large. You will be tend to be
less adventurous, less able to enjoy the moment, and eventually
leave your partner wondering if you're indeed satisfied. This
will in turn render them either resentful, as when they query
you as to your level of satisfaction you will never say you
are less than happy - which they will ultimately see through
or, insecure themselves… leading to a downward spiral in
overall coital contentment.
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A desire to do special things for your partner is a laudable
quality. However, when that desire becomes compulsive as a result
of your wish to retain your partner rather than just because
you happened to be thinking of them, or for specific special
occasions, you must re-examine the situation. Why are you really
doing these things? Surely it is because you care for your partner
and wish them to be happy … but you must weigh whether
it is more a result of your possessiveness and insecurity within
the relationship vs. wanting to put a smile on your partner's
face. In short, if the gesture is more about you than them,
you have some issues to deal with.
Often people take what you are saying to them by way of both verbal
and non-verbal communication at face value. All of the items listed
above are clear indicators you are emanating of a lack of worth
on your part, be it real or imagined, with obviously the more frequent
being the latter. The fact is, that your partner or prospect will
definitely pick up on these cues over time, unconsciously or not,
and take what they deem appropriate action, which usually involves
removing you from their list of potential mates. Why not take this
quick (though not comprehensive) test to get some idea of what your
level of self esteem might be:
Self
Esteem Test
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