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[1, 2]

Medical Benefits of Masturbation
Chapter 2

Masturbation, it seems, is a form of genital "housekeeping". Women experience the urge to masturbate as a way to eliminate debris or genital "gunk" that inhabits the mucus of the vagina and uterus (i.e. menstrual remnants, old sperm, or colonies of invading viruses and bacteria at the opening of the cervix). Baker explains, " An orgasm via masturbation solves a dual problem. In the absence of the spoiling effects of semen, the orgasm rids her cervix of older mucus, relining the vaginal walls, ready to lubricate her next intercourse. An orgasm without semen present makes the remaining cervical mucus more acidic, hence more resistant to infection."* Daily discharge routinely keep the vagina clean, but the urge to masturbate comes when there is more debris than the daily discharge can accommodate.

For men, the housekeeping benefits of masturbation are equally important. Millions of fresh sperm cells are necessary for optimum baby making, so unused sperm lingering around in the testicles too long are encouraged to leave the warm, scrotal sack to make room for a fresh batch. That means a quick ejaculation. Baker and his colleagues showed that the male body would spark the urge to masturbate in anticipation of intercourse in order to have the freshest sperm possible. "By masturbating, the result is that when he next inseminates a woman, he does indeed ejaculate fewer sperm - but they are younger and more active. A greater number manage to escape the seminal pool, and because they are younger, they live longer. Just as with a woman and her cervical mucus, a man's body keeps an eye on the health and vigor of the sperm he has in storage, and when it decides it needs to be shed it triggers in him an urge to masturbate."* So if your sperm are more than three days old, you're going to be feeling the urge to mate - or at least to find the baby oil to ejaculate on your own.

So what happens if you refuse to give into those healthful but lustful urges to bring yourself to orgasm? It turns out that solo orgasms are such an intrinsic part of genital health, that if the urge to masturbate is suppressed in both men and women, then the body simply causes you to have nocturnal emissions - or wet dreams. Those sexy thoughts you have during REM sleep are produced by your body to keep it primed, healthy and ready to reproduce. The only problem from the resulting orgasms is that it leaves you with extra laundry. So the moral of all this is give in to those primal urges to get intimate with yourself. Despite all the centuries of bad press, the truth is that masturbation is downright good for you and as important to your health and well being as blowing your nose or brushing your teeth. Amen.

* Baby Wars, Baker, Robin & Elizabeth Oram. 1999. Harper Collins, Toronto. Pages 25-26


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