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[1, 2]
Cosmetic Surgery - One Male's Perspective
Chapter 2
Some women admit that their partner is the main reason they considered
surgical breast alteration, and that they actually support this
idea. All I can suggest to these women is the same advice their
own mothers would give them. "Don't tattoo his name on your
butt…he probably won't last." If your partner thinks you
need to change your boobs, might I suggest that you just change
the one in the middle? Just have him surgically removed and find
someone who loves you for what you are, not what he wishes you were.
I for one find it impossible to believe that anyone who loved another
person could watch them go under the knife, and risk them losing
something truly precious, like the sensation in their nipples, or
maybe even their life, so they could play easy-squeezy with some
replicant silly-putty breastoids. Yuck!
So maybe you're not in the market for a new front-end job, but
you're kind of tempted by that collagen injection thing that all
the models are getting done now. The one that gives you that oh-so-sexy
perma-pout. Hey, I like Nastasia Kinski's bottom lip as much as
the next guy. But would I recommend collagen injections to my girlfriend?
Gee, I don't think so. What about liposuction you say? I say "What
about a nice tossed green salad for dinner, and then a bracing walk
around the neighborhood before bed." Am I being unfair? You
say that you've tried dieting, but you just can't keep the weight
off. Well have you tried the heroine diet yet? It's very simple
and effective. You have one injection for breakfast, another for
lunch, and then a sensible dinner. You'll shed those unwanted pounds
in no time at all without even getting off the sofa. And you'll
keep the weight off too. That's what I don't get. How can people
seriously contemplate undergoing sur-ger-y, when they haven't even
given drugs a chance?
An ex girlfriend of mine, who was amply endowed, and generally
considered gorgeous by anyone who saw, but didn't actually speak
to her, wanted to have breast reduction done so she could go braless
in little halter tops. She could have anyway, but she didn't think
so. They weren't 'perky' enough. In time, her physical beauty was
completely negated by her growing neuroses and omnipresent insecurities.
I tried everything in my power to convince her of her enviable physical
attributes, suggesting that confidence was the sexiest thing any
woman possessed, but to no avail. I wanted to suggest a mind implant,
as an alternative to breast reduction surgery, but eventually just
had to leave the relationship shaking my head.
I realize that I may not win some people's approval for my radically
un-hip views about this, but hey…I'm not the one trying to
win a popularity contest. In fact, I'm fine with some people hating
me, as long as they hate me for who I really am. And that's really
the point here isn't it?
You know, there are lots of things I've done to try and get people
I liked to like me back. Some of them were basic things like treating
them with the same respect and consideration that I hoped they would
me. It doesn't always work I'm sorry to say, but I'm satisfied that
I'm doing my best, and if that isn't good enough, then screw 'em.
Who needs it?
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