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[1, 2]
How Long Before I Sleep With Him?
Chapter 2
As you become clear about your own objectives, the next step, and
a much more difficult one is to figure out what his intentions
are. Is he really interested in you, or is he just after your body?
If you think that he is really interested in you, then you have
to decipher his code of ethics. If you sleep with him right away,
will he think that you are just his type, or a bimbo? If you don't
sleep with him for quite a while, will he think that you are taking
his attentions seriously, or will he think that you're frigid? It
could go either way.
Another problem that arises once you have made the mental commitment
to sleeping with him is the question of his place or yours. Secondly,
do you stay over (or permit him to) or not. If one of you has roommates,
children, parents etc, living with you, then the choice is obvious.
Otherwise, you have the option of going to his house, where you
may be uncomfortable. If it's someone you don't really know, it
could be downright scary if he turns out to be some kind of wacko.
Don't forget that your safety is of paramount importance, and these
kinds of things do happen. On the other hand, if you invite
him over to your house, you might not be able to have him leave
when you wish him to, or worse, he might walk out of the house with
your wallet when you're not looking. Many women find that they're
more comfortable going to his place, barring awkward living conditions.
This choice also assists your decision of whether you want to sleep
with him in the first place - as a man's home says a lot about him.
After it is determined whose house is more appropriate, let's say
his, do you leave right after sex, or do you spend the night? Again
there is no correct answer. It depends on such things as your morning
obligations or whether you have brought your necessities with you,
for example, medications or contact lens solution. It may also depend
how much intimacy you're ready for. Actually sleeping together
can be much more intimate than just having sex. Some people
can't sleep if they aren't totally comfortable and for this reason,
many couples have to work up to spending the whole night. Besides,
do you want him to get up in the night and see drool down your face
and smeared make-up? If you are the type to not want to stay the
night right away, then it's generally preferable to go to his place,
so that you can leave when you want to.
If you end up at your place, it is more difficult to have sex and
then ask him to leave. This request must be approached cautiously,
otherwise he may feel that he didn't perform well and that is why
you want him to leave. Try saying that you have a big day at work
tomorrow, or better yet, tell him the truth and explain that you're
not ready for an all nighter yet. However, if you don't feel this
way, then having him stay is not a problem. Keep in mind however,
that he may not be comfortable with staying all night.
No matter how you decide to go about it, just ensure that you can
emotionally handle the situation that you're getting into. It's
not advisable to string him along if you're not interested, but
don't feel obligated to have sex with him if you don't want to or
are not ready to. When you are ready and the timing is right, things
just have a way of falling into place and working out favorably.
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