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Long Distance Relationships

Have you ever been involved in a long distance relationship? Most people have tried it once, even if for a brief period of time. Why can some couples make it work while other couples can't? As with any other aspects of romantic relationships, the situation varies from couple to couple and what is right for some people will not apply to all.

One factor to examine is whether you are already an established couple. For example, if you have been together for years and your partner suddenly gets transferred to work across the country, if your relationship is solid, you will probably feel that it is worth finding a way to keep the relationship intact. Usually under these kinds of situations, the relationship survives.

If you are not an established couple, the situation is often quite different. For example, you go on a trip somewhere and meet someone that you are interested in, but you live in different cities, or even different countries, sustaining a long distance relationship can be quite difficult, if possible at all.

Another factor to consider is whether the relationship will be defined by it's geographical difficulties for a set, or an indefinite period of time. If your spouse has to be away for work for a few months, it is a manageable block of time. For example, in the military, many spouses get left behind for months at a time while their partners are doing exercises or on extended tours of duty. During these situations, most established couples find a way to cope and manage with the situation. Although this requires some reorganization of the relationship, it is certainly possible.

If on the other hand, the situation is for an indefinite length of time, at some point it will be necessary to decide whether to continue the relationship from a distance, or have one of the partners relocate. For example, if you are involved in a long term relationship and you get a perhaps once in a lifetime career opportunity requiring you move across country, you have to determine whether your partner is willing and able to move with you now or at a later point in time. If not, it seems almost senseless to continue the relationship if neither one of you is willing to compromise and relocate. It is pointless to be in a relationship where you are both permanently apart.

This difficulty is the prime reason so many new relationships that have started in cyberspace or on vacation don't usually pan out. It is a huge risk to pick up and move to another city or country to see if you can establish a relationship with someone new. Most of us want to make sure that the situation will have a desirable outcome before we go to such extreme measures. Additionally involved are difficulties in living arrangements, (Do you move in with them, or do you find yourself your own place?) and essentials including finding a job and making new friends.

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